Welcome To Stage 3
The Greatest Power Move You Will Ever Make
This page is a follow on from The Inner Child Work.
The writing exercise in that page may have brought up some difficult experiences or trauma from childhood that are still affecting you.
We are going to look at processing those experiences through the framework of stage 2 - 3 as explained in Karla McLaren’s The Language of Emotions. Thus is exciting and empowering work indeed!
Before continuing, listen to this podcast episode which explains the movement from stage 2 -3
Recap on The 3 Stages of Tribal Initiation
#1 Separation from the tribe
#2 The test/ordeal
#3 Child passes the test and returns to the tribe. They are honoured and take on greater responsibility.
Many people do not have the ordeal they went through recognised by the tribe as such; abuse and bullying often happen in isolation or the tribe turns a blind eye. Women are given multiple messages that toxic masculinity and male sexual energy that encroaches upon a woman’s privacy is OK. Many of my clients' caregivers had mental health issues that prevented them helping the movement to stage 3.
Therefore if you experienced overwhelming events or trauma in childhood, it is highly likely that there was nobody moving you to stage 3. You may have been stuck in stage 2 for a long time.
The work now is clear: to move yourself to stage 3.
Questions To Discuss
#1 Does anything from childhood (or indeed adulthood) resonate as being a stuck in stage 2 experience?
#2 In tribal societies, a child who does not pass the initiation ordeal retakes the test until they do. This surfaces in our society as unconscious attempts to retake the ordeal . These look like intense self sabotage such as being promiscuous, or working in the wrong career that is a struggle.
What about you? Can you identify choices you have made and felt guilty about that were actually unconscious attempts to move to stage 3?
#3 Brainstorm: What ways can you start moving to stage 3 now in your life?
What has to change?
Who do you need to change your relationship with?
Who do you need to distance yourself from?
What resources do you want to draw to yourself to help this movement?
