I see chaotic eating (what you have up to this point called binge eating) or compulsive eating as a metronome:
You believe that chaotic eating is the expression of your awfulness. I believe it is your Inner Food Rebel trying to stand up for you. Like a child who is fed up with being bullied at school, s/he doesn’t ask the teacher for help, but instead starts a fire at school - because nobody ever told them there was a better way:
For a more detailed explanation of how The Metronome works, listen to this Eating Coach episode
How does this land for you?