This episode of The RebelQueen Empath podcast tells you to not only how to identify these creatures in the wild or in (semi) domestication, but gives you a path to start dealing with them. Let’s go beyond the quick descriptions such as ‘grandiose’ and ‘belittles others’ to a really useful filter to get past the excuses that you as an empath or HSP (highly sensitive person) have made for these people before.
We are going to keep the definition to the very short ‘self-absorption’ for this episode, because this topic is so complex. A word that seems at first glance to be synonymous with the personality of the 45th president of The United States is actually a multi-faceted concept. You would never call Donald Trump vulnerable, yet there is such a thing as a vulnerable narcissist for example.
Strategy #1: Become Aware of Narcissist PR
How to identify a narcissist step one: check out how good their PR is.
PR stands for public relations, and is a perfectly ethical part of any marketing strategy. What is not ethical, however, is PR that is out of alignment with the way that the company operates. Think of an environmentally irresponsible firm that funds an orphanage in the area that it is stripping bare, merely as an exercise in damage limitation.
If you are out and about narcissist spotting (a highly useful pastime, IMHO) then what is the narcissist equivalent of this toxic PR?
The answer: Narcissist PR is any strategic show of gratitude, praise, selflessness and so on to placate you after an episode of passive aggression, manipulation, put downs – any attempt to elevate their sense of self at your expense.
You know this is PR because there is no apology. It is the lack of contrition, of vulnerability that shows you that this is PR and not a genuine attempt to make amends.
Do not be fooled. This is a case of goodbye change and hello more narcissistic behaviour.
Recognising narcissist PR for what it is not a panacea – but you get better laying the foundations for boundary setting.
Strategy #2: The 10-Minute Rule
This is an excellent filter to not only spot a narcissist, but also save yourself a LOT of future energy drain and stress. Nip any unwanted connections with strangers in the bud within 10 minutes – without openly snubbing them or any stressful conflict. Find out how in this section.
Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to get better at how to spot a narcissist using these two power moves.
Keen to get going and arm yourself with some practical ways to stand up to these people as well as energy vampires and other self-styled potential energy drainers? Get your free PDF copy of Lifesaver 10 which gives you 10 ways to deal with difficult people and situations without conflict.