The Golden Opportunity
June 2020 presents an incredible golden opportunity to us all.
Although Coronavirus has brought innumerable worries and stresses into all our lives, I have been interested to hear the positive comments clients have made to me about life in quarantine. I certainly have a sense of there being less white noise in my life.
Is life easier in some ways in lockdown? How?
What are you not looking forward to as life returns to normal?
resuming contact with energy vampires, passive aggressive relatives/colleagues etc
school run/after school clubs taxi service stress
Meetings in person, especially if junk is involved
Rushing around at the weekend
If you can deal with these stresses directly, there is no need to use food to soothe and comfort yourself.
Which of these stresses are unavoidable?
Which can you ditch from your life?
Which can be modified to be less stressful? (eg after school clubs taxiing - could you set up a parent share pick up and drop off system, could you decide to delay sending your child back to one of their 3 clubs?)
A really helpful lens to look at this issue through is that of boundaries.
What I have noticed in many clients is that their boundaries are not firm enough. This creates a lot of avoidable stress.
They make up for others’ lazyness in the office by working late (for which they get zero recognition)
They put up with their mother’s passive aggressive comments because she had a terrible childhood (why do people think this is a free pass to unfettered nastiness?),
They take on 90% housework, all the school clubs taxiing and homework duties when they have just as demanding a job as their partner. How many times have I heard the excuse “Well I may as well do it!” from the mouths of my friends and indeed myself.
There are endless permutations of this.
In these situations, food becomes the tool they use to tolerate what they should not be tolerating.
Where do your boundaries need strengthening? Who do you feel powerless and resentful around?
The end of lockdown is a unique opportunity that will never present itself again. Everyone has had to change in the last three months. People and I imagine organisations are open to more change in a way that has never happened before. The goalposts have not only been moved, they’ve been flown to a football pitch on the other side of the world.
This is a golden opportunity for you to create some new boundaries, and so reduce stress eating and binges, and make life easier.
Do you want to:
Ask your boss about working from home some of the week?
See less/none of person X?
Demand person X behave differently if they want you in their life?
Hand over more certain jobs to your partner?
Stop giving time to..... ?
Note: Energy vampires in your life will probably start lobbying hard for a return to the pre lockdown status quo. Be