Accept and Allow

an Inner Shift

Reclaiming your life from compulsive eating involves accepting and allowing.

These terms are generally interchangeable in English; however, in this work I want you to use them very distinctly and specifically.

ACCEPTING means tolerating anything that is disappointing, uncomfortable or even painful

EXAMPLES:

I accept that I may not get this job I have applied for

I accept that I have resistance to doing theta affirmations

I accept that it could take longer than I had thought to dismantle my sugar addiction

I accept that my mother is/was passive aggressive

I accept that I cannot do as much exercise or housework as I want to, because of my injury

Only ever use accept in a positive sense. So instead of saying Why does he accept such nasty treatment? say Why does he put up with such nasty treatment? etc

ALLOWING means giving yourself permission to have or be something empowering or helpful to you

EXAMPLES:

I allow myself to eat slowly

I allow myself to have a relationship

I allow myself to be imperfect

I am allowing myself to go to the gym 3 times a week

I am allowing myself to stand up to my mother and no longer feel sorry for her

I am allowing myself to ask for help

NB Does I am allowing feel more powerful than I allow?

I want it to be a trigger for you to do empowering things, a kind of signpost towards the future you want that you use to motivate you every time you say or write it.

In fact I strongly urge you to only ever use the word allow in a positive sense. So never say “I simply won’t allow it!” – Say “I simply won’t put up with it!”

Why Accepting and Allowing Is So Powerful

Accepting (as in tolerating anything that is disappointing, uncomfortable or even painful with the end goal of empowering yourself) is…

*An act of rebellion against the ego, which always wants things to be safe and secure and certain

*Helps you let go of the past and forgive when it is appropriate

Allowing (as in giving yourself permission to have or be something empowering or helpful) is…

*A necessary mental and emotional habit that I predict you as a recovering compulsive eater need to develop. Self censorship and unconsciously wanting to prove to the world that you are not enough is very very common amongst my clients.

*An act of rebellion against inappropriate shame

Together, accepting and allowing …

*Prevents you constantly seeking affirmation from others

*Helps kill that craving for something external to solve your problems. We have all grown up brainwashed into the consumerist fantasy that there is an external solution to everything.

*Is a necessary underpinning to any goal or ambition you have

*Are powerful ways to dismantle the victim mentality

*Will make life easier

In a nutshell, accepting and allowing creates a mindset where it is OK for the world to be imperfect, where it OK for you to be imperfect – and supports you in being as happy as possible.

Questions To Ask Yourself

What are you putting up with in your life that is disempowering to you? (eg put downs at work)

What did you used to put up with at the age of 15 that you will not put up with today? (eg rudeness from customer service staff if you ring up to complain about something)