STEP 3: ACCEPT YOUR RESISTANCE
Howver great uncomfortability sounds, you will resist it. One of the reasons people generally do not persist with New Year’s Resolutions is their resistance to uncomfortability.
Accepting this resistance is humbling.
STEP 4: BRAINSTORM YOUR ACTION STEPS
Next, define specific examples of actions like I did at the top of this page that will help develop uncomfortability. In session we will agree on the most important one as your check in action with me.
STEP 5: ENVIRONMENT AND ORGANISATION CHANGES
My anecdote of tidying away mess in my kitchen to prevent grazing is an example of this.
Are there any habits you need to set up or changes to your home or work environment that are necessary to remove opportunities for comfort eating?
One very common example is meal planning and food shopping. See the Menu Boards page for more on this.
Changes you need may conflict with others’ desires (such as a workplace cookie jar). This is a separate issue that we can discuss in your sessions.
These environmental and organisational changes become action steps themselves - add them to your list.
STEP 6: BABY STEPS
The reason you resist uncomfortability and the common sense examples given at the start of this page is that to the compulsive part of your mind, it feels unsafe. However miserable your eating problems make you feel, your Cavebrain sees that you are still alive every day. It knows nothing of the freedom that awaits you on the other side of uncomfortability; what lifeability is. And even if it did know, it would not care because it only cares about your survival.
So you have to prove to Cavebrain that journalling your grief, or tidying your kitchen to avoid grazing, or a three minute run to channel your rage are OK for your survival.
And you do this by simply doing those things - over time. Cavebrain gets the message eventually, and the discomfort evaporates. Until then, it is a case of “feel the fear and do it anyway”.
You start off small. For many clients I give them seemingly super easy check in tasks like taking 5 minutes for themselves after dinner, or 2 box breaths before every meal.
Small also means ‘not too many’. It can mean ONE action. In fact, at the start, it probably will be just that. Too much challenge means overwhelm and rebellion.